Living on borrowed Happiness
From childhood, we are taught to source joy from the outside world. And it is such a scary phenomenon. Imagine nothing that you do brings joy and happiness unless someone else approves of it. Getting…
From childhood, we are taught to source joy from the outside world. And it is such a scary phenomenon. Imagine nothing that you do brings joy and happiness unless someone else approves of it.
Getting good marks brought your parents' approval. Your performance at work meant your boss's approved of you. Approval bought good feelings and these good feelings felt like love. And slowly we got addicted to these borrowed good feelings.
Without knowing we have handed over the remote control of our inner world to the people around us. This leads to us feeling restless, dependent and unsettled.
Unfortunately, we are never taught to source joy from within.
The fall out is, we need the right atmosphere, the right people in the right mood, the right response to our message, the right number of likes - just so that we feel ok. And if any variable shifts, everything wobbles.
I remember reading something in the Gita around this "Stithapradnya" - one who is steady. I may not be able to define in the same way as Krishna did. But what I understood, is it is someone who does waiver in his emotions, his mental capabilities and he is so at all times.
We can call it emotional independence - the quiet ability to remain rooted regardless of the weather outside.
Happiness borrowed from others has an expiry date. The kind that grows from within — that one compounds quietly, daily, without needing anyone's permission.